Please jump into the Pond. The water’s lovely.

Welcome to the Pond. You need to know only that while you might be a little concerned about the stench at first, there is, as with Gorgon Zola, and, indeed, her brother Emile, a wealth of pleasure contained within. Here in the Pond we see the world in a very specific way. We crane our necks and look up, not an easy position after so many years with your nose predominantly under the waterline. So if occasionally we might seem critical or even a little deranged of kilter, please indulge us. If you were brought up with a thousand plankton nipping at your anus, you too would be desperate for someone, anyone to recognize your existence, to acknowledge your pain. If the world has truly been gored into concern about the enviromnent, then please spare a thought for us Pondants, who every day reach for clarity only to be assaulted by worms and discarded cigarette packets. On which have been written a thousand useless business plans and government policies. Our voice is small. But we will try and keep our pitch perfect. And, we hope, enticing.

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