The iPhone. A secret left-leaning message?

My index finger can easily open the battery screw underneath my MacBook. In fact, they fit easily up my nostril. It’s not that I have huge nostrils. It’s that I don’t have particularly huge fingers. At least that’s what Brigitte Nielsen told me. So why do I have such a large problem texting on an iPhone? Every time I try to type the word ‘free’, I get ‘gtrs’. When I want ‘pond’, I get ‘{ibc’.

I found this surprising, as I always thought Real Steve Jobs had a feeling for real people.

Then a friend’s son gave me the answer. You have to aim slightly to the left of the letter. Huh. So I have taken that advice and applied it to other parts of my life.

This has caused a few little glitches.

Aim slightly to the left of the little hole on your Starbucks cup and you get latte on your nipple. Non-fat. It’s not entirely an unpleasant sensation, but you do get some very strange looks from other patrons. Aim slightly to the left of your steak dinner and you get woodchips on your fork. Which, for some reason, reminded me of a trip to the Outback Steakhouse. However, aim slightly to the left of Dennis Kucinich and you get absolutely nothing at all.

Perhaps Real Steve Jobs is sending us his own subliminal text: Vote for that tall English lady’s husband and nothing bad will ever happen again.

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1 Comment

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One response to “The iPhone. A secret left-leaning message?

  1. elisabeth

    hmmm, perhaps it’s just a thumb whittling you need?
    http://northdenvernews.com/content/view/922/2

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