Yes, young (white) people are happy. Let us go figure.

Those two bastions of truth in youth, the Associated Press and MTV, have conducted some major research.

Interesting word that, conducted. I can imagine the heads of both these fine organizations, batons in hands, waving at the 13-24-year-old respondents to intone harmony with the program.

The whole point of research is not to confirm what people think, but to move your brand in a slightly different direction.

Could it be that MTV, no longer the voice of the young, needs to make the young conform to its rather more stodgy reality?

MTV’s, not youth’s.

The orchestra of 1280 multihormones, who managed to answer more than 100 questions (one can only hazard as to how long that took), came back with the conclusions that they love their families, they love their friends and that they’re really, really happy.

Well, the white ones are. 72% of them declared happiness with life “in general.”

Whereas only 51% of Hispanics felt so positively.

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Apparently, these 13-24-year-olds believe that school makes them happy. They also claim that they look forward to happy marriages where their children will skip around and sing anthems to happiness and smash any Clash LP’s they happen to come across.

One must dismiss at once the notion that this might have something to do with money. Not one surveyee declared that money was important to them.

In fact, it was a monstrous coincidence that the ones who claimed greater happiness happened to be the ones with the most clean lucre.

However, the surveyors claim that having highly educated parents was a far greater predictor of happiness than money. Which, in some not so oblique way, seems to suggest that Hispanic parents are terribly stupid.

I’ve never been sure how to feel about education. The educated (which means, I suppose, those who went to college to smoke pot, rather than to Home Depot or the alley behind the poolhall) tend to create such mess in their personal lives that it is hard to imagine they could create sane families, never mind happy ones.

Do we really owe so much happiness in the world to the educated?

I mean, does going to Yale make you a finer repository of the happy gene?

Exhibit A: Jenna Bush is getting married.

Exhibit B: Her husband-to-be used to work for Dick Cheney. Who flunked out of Yale.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Yes, young (white) people are happy. Let us go figure.

  1. dan farber

    Are you sure it wasn’t 72.3245599603345996979 percent of the whites who answered 100 were happy. Not surprising since they aren’t patrolling the streets of Iraq

    Happiness is a warm gun
    Happiness is a warm gun mama
    When I hold you in my arms
    and I feel my finger on you trigger
    I know nobody can do no harm
    Because Happiness is a warm gun mama
    Happiness is a warm gun, yes it is
    Happiness is a warm, yes it is, gun
    Ah, don’t you know that
    Happiness is a warm gun mama

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