Corporal punishment fit for a hero.

We in the Pond have trouble with oral sex.

It doesn’t really work for us so well in the Wetlands here, but we are prepared to allow for the fact that human beings might find the activity in some bizarre way worthwhile.

Which is why we were a little surprised when we heard about Gennarlow Wilson, a boy in Georgia, someone who was apparently very good at football, receiving a 10-year prison sentence for partaking of the pleasures of the mouth.

He was 17-years-old when some merry prankster caught him in a hotel room, enjoying a little mutual louche-bouche with a girl who turned out to be one year short of her sweet sixteenth.

The prankster filmed the proceedings.

And, in subsequent proceedings of a legal nature, Wilson was convicted of aggravated child molestation, thanks to a law, repealed in 2006, that required a minimum 10-year sentence.

He spent two years in jail before he was released on Friday after the wise berobed ones of the Georgia Supreme Court decided that the repealing of the law marked “a seismic shift in the legislature’s view of the gravity of oral sex between two willing teenage participants.”

I am not aware whether, in mentioning teenagers, the Court had Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in mind.

Or whether the fact that Gennarlow Wilson was prosecuted in the first place had anything to do with the unfortunate color of his skin.

No, what occupies my mind are two important questions.

Firstly, is there any hope for Georgia? I have rarely heard pleasant stories coming out of the place. The only saving grace, for a time at least, was that Ben and JLo had bought an Georgian estate on which they hoped to raise a brood of the beautiful. It was not to be.

Ben and JLo fell out and now Georgia is famous for doghanging.

The second question, one that is perhaps even more profound, concerns the state of mind of David McDade, the Douglas County Distrcit Attorney who energetically pursued this prosecution in the first place.

I made the, I hope, natural assumption that Mr. McDade is a vigorous campaigner for human rights.

I therefore sought out his biography and was not disappointed to find this apogee of Mr. McDade’s prosecutorial career:

“Douglas County currently ranks third in the State of Georgia per capita in regards to death penalty cases with twelve consecutive successful death penalty prosecutions during McDade’s tenure as a prosecutor.”

These are words of pride for Mr. McDade. They come straight from the Douglas County website. Mr. McDade was even voted District Attorney of the Year in 2005 by his peers.

Yet it is hard to find Mr. McDade entirely endearing.

Yesterday, he professed himself to be disappointed with the Supreme Court’s decision.

How, then, can folks express their disappointment with Mr. McDade?

What if a fund was created-from the collection plates and personal safes of the believers of Georgia? What if that money could then be handed to the prostitutes of Georgia (by-passing, if possible, their middlemen)?

And what if those prostitutes could then take it as their immediate assignment to, um, attract Mr. McDade wherever they can find him? (I have a feeling that Mr. McDade is not a man immune to the charms of others.)

What if the lady or gentleman (I am sure that the Georgian legislature might have experienced a seismic shift when it comes to homosexuality and bisexuality too) who succeeded in enrapturing Mr. McDade in flagrante, could decide, if he or she so chose, to ensure that the performance is, hey, how about this, filmed?

What if that film slipped out onto the web, where viewers could be charged money to gawk at the no doubt entertaining proceedings?


And, well, what if the money collected (other than the prostitute’s, um, finders fee) was set aside for Mr. Wilson’s continued education and career?

Of course, I am not advocating that this should happen. I am merely speculating whether this sort of screenplay might be attractive to the producers of Erin Brockovich. (Hello, Mr. Devito. I’m not cheap. But I’m worth it.)

I wonder if Mr. McDade has seen that movie. And I wonder if, in his heart, he would agree with us that humiliation can be very effective as a tool of social justice.

Because, you see, I keep wondering what purpose other than humiliation could there have been for his highly just and intelligent prosecution of Gennarlow Wilson?


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