What do Nazis and Orgies tell us about the Beijing Olympics?

You have, perhaps, been too busy keeping up with startling events in the United States, such as Jessica Alba’s pregnancy, to notice an occurrence of world importance overseas.

A chap called Max Mosley, who is the President of the FIA, an organization that appears to have jurisdiction over motor sports such as Formula One racing, has got himself into a bit of a bind.

Formula One racing is a little like Indy Car racing, except for the fact that they let drivers from obscure countries like Finland and Germany win. Occasionally.

Now Mr. Mosley, an Englishman with eyebrows thicker than than a member of American Airlines cabin crew, was filmed recently with five prostitutes, who seemed to take turns in hitting his bare bottom with sticks and other implements.

As you are probably aware, this is a classic afternoon parlor game for any English public schoolboy, so there should be no reason for such behavior to warrant even the tiniest squeal of displeasure.

However, Mr. Mosley is being consistently berated, something that the film evidence suggests he quite likes, because during his fleeting beating he appeared to be shouting commands in a German accent. An accent that might have reminded some viewers of the TV show Hogan’s Heroes.

Mr. Mosley is denying that his flight into German fancy had any Hitlerian overtones.

He explained, quite reasonably, that he was speaking in German because two of the five ladies were, in fact, German speakers.

It is also entirely irrelevant that his father, Sir Oswald Mosley, was the head of the British Fascist Party.

And where did the slimy tabloid newspaper come up with the thought that Mr. Mosley spent some of the five-hour session acting out the fantasy of a concentration camp victim? Probably in some pub after seven of eight pints of lager.

Although it is a little perplexing to hear that two of the prostitutes wore German Army uniforms, while the other three had strangely striped prison uniforms that did not appear to have been bought at Brooks Brothers.

My thoughts were with Mr. Mosley today shortly after I looked up at the Golden Gate Bridge and noticed three protesters trying to attract the world’s attention to the plight of Tibetans and the apparent scandal of China hosting the Olympics while allegedly subjugating the Dalai Lama and his fellow countrymen.

My thoughts then wandered to Juan Antonio Samaranch, a previous head of the International Olympic Committee, who brought the Games to Spain despite having been rather closely associated with the egregiously liberal regime of General Franco.

Now I would not dream of suggesting that all those with tight connections to some sort of uniform philosophy are prone to Teutonic ululation to aid their communal masturbation.

However, I am concerned that in the very highest echelons of world sport, there seems to exist more than a smattering of old men, they seem always to be men, who exhibit a fondness for authoritarian bent.

Which begs the question. And begs it again. And begs it again.

Why didn’t these people spend their lives in politics? How is it that they found their domination aspirations satisfied by sport? What has sport done to deserve their ministrations?

Now I don’t want to bleat this thought till it bleeds as Mr. Mosley’s trim 67-year-old body apparently did during his grand spree.

But we would surely all be surprised if, for example, Eliot Spitzer, had fantasized about Stalag Number 9 during his time as Client Number 9.

We would surely have been stunned to hear that Senator Larry Craig found that lederhosen, jackboots and a riding crop heightened his sense of private pleasure.

Yet something about Mr. Mosley’s moving movie performance, specifically when he has his private parts checked for lice, makes it seem all too, well, normal.

Could it be that there are members of the International Olympic Committee whose decision to give the games to China might have been influenced by their being just the slightest bit excited by a little authoritarian action?

I expect the protests of the Golden Gate Bridge’s social climbers to stimulate a full and frank expression of feelings from the Olympic Movement.

Or, as the Tibetans refer to them, OM.

The Pond thanks Ho Wai for explaining it all in pictures.


Filed under Uncategorized

8 responses to “What do Nazis and Orgies tell us about the Beijing Olympics?

  1. ScandinavianBlonde

    Ommm indeed.
    The French were apparently out to protest yesterday as well and managed to put out the Olympic fire a few times as it was being transported through Paris.
    I’m not happy about Beijing getting the Olympics but at least that puts then in the spotlight and so far they have mostly gotten bad publicity.
    Props to Steven Spielberg for resigning in protest.

    I can’t begin to say how much men Like Max Mosley disgust me. Apparently his “movie” had a whole arch – he started as a prisoner and eventually became a guard himself. Character growth…

    Nice post: funny, provoking and informed.

  2. thespine11

    Why, thank you. You are very kind.

    I am touched to be appreciated in Finland.

    Yes, Mr. Mosley appears to have grown over the years, no?

    The revelations from one of his tormentors in Sunday’s News Of The World were truly quite funny.

    And if we can’t laugh, what is left of us?

  3. ScandinavianBlonde

    You are very welcome.
    Did you btw realize that a “nice” from a Finn equals an “excellent” by an Italian 😉

  4. thespine11

    I did not know that. (My chest is now fully puffed out.)

    But I did know that Finland has the biggest alcohol problem in the world.

    Could the two things be related?

    By the by, how did you find your way to the Pond? It always fascinates me how people use the internet thingy…

  5. ScandinavianBlonde

    Oh fame.

    Our tendency to be muteish (there is a verb in Finnish that interestingly enough doesn’t have an equivalent in English) goes hand in hand with our tendency of being understated.

    I came to the Pond by random clicking on some link on some site about American Idol (it is of course the pop cultural phenomenon that interests me..). Like I make it my business to know something about tweens.

    I thought the song suggestions were hilarious.

  6. thespine11

    How lovely that American Idol brings you closer to culture.

    The strange thing is that quite a few readers take the song revelations seriously. Very seriously. There’s an Art Garfunkelist out there who is very perplexed that Paul Simon would play banjo on an Art song.

    I love the idea of a muteish culture. From what I can remember, Finns are slightly less muteish when drunkish.

    Would you include yourself in that?

  7. ScandinavianBlonde

    Well, why highbrow when you can lowbrow?

    A view that I’m sure can be reflected upon when sitting by a pond? A ringside seat if there ever was one for something such as AI 🙂

    I don’t shut up in a few languages, neither sober nor drunk. A true Finn remains resolutely silent even when drunk.

  8. thespine11

    Hmm, so essentially you’re saying there’s no difference between a sober Finn and a drunk Finn.

    Why do y’all drink so much then?

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