American Idol Song Choices For May 13. The Word Is Out. (Is The Fix In?)

How we all got here, I’ll never know.

Weeks of amusement- well, at least for me- now culminate in three highly ambitious individuals and one modest parent fighting it out for a crown that has more thorns than a depressive rose salesman on crack.

Let me begin by saying that all those who have peddled the noxious falsehood that Jeff Archuleta is an oppressive father should choke on their polenta scones.

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Mr. Archuleta verbally assaulted two members of the dirty-sneakered Idol Brigade and fourteen members of a visiting high school orchestra when he heard that Paula Abdul had chosen Billy Joel’s “And So It Goes” as her selection for his son’s dulcet tonsils.

“And So It Goes” is a wistful little ode, sung by a world-weary man whose life has not turned out quite as he would have liked.

How could anyone not think this would be the perfect song for the eerily cheerful young boy who faces the world every day with a happy smile and eyes that whisper a scream?

For those who truly believe that Paula chose this song all alone, might my caustic side refer you to a line from this Billy Joel song: “My silence is my self-defense”?

Given that Mr. Archuleta appears to have been sent to the Idol Doghouse, is there anyone alive who might imagine that the dirty-sneakered ones might make things a little more onerous for Little David to become the little victor?

Not I.

I am on the side of the producers. Life is very difficult for them.

In their hearts, whose password access code only their accountants have seen, they feel that the most money can be made from Little David. He has the broadest appeal demographically.

And Simon Cowell has never been one for the subtle sell. He does seem like the sort of chap who would have sidled up to a young Madonna and asked her to be a member of the Spice Girls.

Yet, on the other hand, if by some unimaginably fair process Little David does win, can they look forward to endless years of daily negotiations with Pere Archuleta?

But what is the alternative?

David Cook and Syesha Mercado simply don’t represent quite as much mass appeal as the Altar Child.

Of course David Cook will take Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” and give it a little rocker’s botox.

I will take a wild guess that the song will start slowly and then build to a moving crescendo.

But it will still be alternative music rather than altarnative.

Who amongst us can imagine a David Cook Christmas Album?

So please feel the deep-seated pain of the producers as they watch the ratings slide like an ornery grandfather into a Florida swimming pool.

On whom should they bet their dwindling assets? On Syesha?

The alleged choice of Randy Jackson for Syesha smacks of extremely sensitive profiling.

“Hey, Syesha. You’re young and black. Alicia sounds like Syesha. She’s young and black. And she’s in the charts. So have at it, dawg.”

How on earth is she supposed to make this song even vaguely original? I know, a cappella with a midget gospel choir. And Jeff Archuleta on sax.

Have the producers made their choice? Are they setting the enraptured nation up for a shock this week, so that we can have that most controversial of Grand Finales next week?

Ah, but we haven’t even discussed the other two songs the Intrepid Three will rain down upon us on Tuesday.

One of which has been labeled “The Producers’ Choice.”

Perhaps that might give us an even better clue.

We will discuss this further after school tomorrow. It is only fair to Little David.

The Pond thanks manitou2121 for his image of an inflated ego.

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15 Comments

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15 responses to “American Idol Song Choices For May 13. The Word Is Out. (Is The Fix In?)

  1. Anne

    You are such a moron. You might actually have to show your ugly face to the public, when David Archuleta wins. Your site is consistently publishing GARBAGE! What a real talent you have. Ugly frogs are just plain SLIME. You are such mean and nasty human being. Get an education, a real talent and stop writing comments about talented people and their families you know nothing about. LOSER!

  2. thespine11

    Hello, Anne.

    How lovely to hear from you again.

    And thank you for the compliments.

    I am so sorry I write about people and things I know nothing about.

    Fortunately, I have readers like you who are most helpful and far more knowledgeable than I will ever be.

    And I am very, very grateful to you for that.

    God Bless You, my sweet.

  3. dashing4

    Pondie,

    I am scared of Anne. I don’t know what to say. I think you better be nice. It was a good thing you called her your sweet, but she may not like that. She is a David A. fan and cares about him that’s all. I know how she feels, only my love is for Jason. How quick can I get the topic back to Jason?

    Anne, try to understand that frog boy lives in a pond and there is alot of scum around him. Its true that our environment plays a huge part in the person we become. I do understand your hurt, because I felt the same stings when I first encountered this bizarre blog. It was hard to read such terrible things about my boy, Jason. But, guess what? Pond Boy likes it when you play back, but not in such a serious and angry way. So give it a try.

    Don’t forget, you have the upper hand here. David A. will probably be the winner of AI and he deserves it. Then ole Pond Boy will just have to hop away and hide under the nearest lily pad and you can just rub it in his face. Until then, take a deep breath and enjoy the pond.

    Sincerely,
    Dashing

  4. thespine11

    Dashing,

    You are an Angel of the Lord.

    As you know, I am steadfast in my belief that anyone can be converted.

    Although this does seem like a very tall and demanding order.

    I really think you crawled a little too much when you said that Little David deserves to win this show.

    But I guess a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.

    Although I’m not sure I want Anne to rub anything in my face exactly.

    But I owe you, petal. Name your price.

  5. dashing4

    OOO, I like this..my price…hmmm. For me and Judy, would you please write a wonderful little piece on our lovely little dreadlocked boy wonder? Jason, Jason is his name. It has to be really, really nice with lots of things about his strong character in the midst of the evil AI empire. Pondie, you’ll hate every minute of it, but it will be payback for me saying David A. is going to win and deserves it. Although, I do have a soft spot for young David. He has a nice voice and that’s a fact. I wonder when he’s old and gray if he’ll have a fancy building built just for him in Branson, Mo. or maybe he’ll be a Vegas guy like Neil. What do you think?

  6. thespine11

    Oh, dear God,

    I thought you would come up with something like that.

    And I really thought I had done that already with the What Jason Can Teach Hillary post.

    Can’t you think of something else?

    I think Little David will end up in a clinic.

    I am not sure what kind of clinic, but it will be not be an STD clinic.

  7. dashing4

    Your article about Jason teaching Hillary a lesson was full of inaccurate information (like him saying “don’t vote), you know what I am saying.

    Oh, no, the one I want you to write must be dedicated only to Jason and must talk about how you have changed your opinion of him after seeing him interviewed (youtube, my boy) and now you DO understand his hype and its nothing (well, maybe a tiny bit) to do with his looks, but instead his character and singing ability. Don’t faint. You can do it. I understand it will be very, very difficult for you to write such an article without having a few sarcastic jabs here and there. Those jabs are to be directed at Simon, Randy and Nigel -the evil ones. I know that Jason has the self-discipline to let their bashing roll off his shoulders, but I do not.

    Okay, so there is your assignment. Let’s see what you can do. (it doesn’t have to be as long as your other long-winded posts are, but definitely considered an article and not a sentence.)

    It won’t ruin your reputation around the pond. Trust me.

    Dashing

  8. ScandinavianBlonde

    I very much admired the alternative/altarnative juxtaposing. Well found 🙂

    Hilarious as always.

  9. thespine11

    Oh, Dashing,

    How can I possibly refuse?

    And the most beautiful thing about your request is that you have been gracious enough not to impose a time limit.

    For this I thank you most of all.

  10. thespine11

    Scandy,

    Hello again.

    Thank you. Your compliments, as always, leave me humbled.

    I trust you are suitably geared up for tonight’s anti-climax.

    Well, you’re Finnish. You’re used to anti-climaxes.

    Whose side were you guys on in the War again?

  11. dashing4

    Hmmm, I think you are trying to find a way out of this…not so fast, Froggy. I would love to see something positive about Jason by the ever so suspenseful AI Finale, how about that??!

    Just tuned into the first interview with Jason that I actually enjoyed.. The Mike and Juliet Show..go on,watch it and learn..

  12. thespine11

    The Mike and Juliet Show, Dashing?

    What on earth is that? And where? And why?

    Something positive about Jason by the Finale?

    Sigh. My talents are being strained here.

    I will go into my dungeon and think.

    And you? What responsibilities weigh on you today?

  13. dashing4

    Well, I have to say, that I too had never heard of the Mike and Juliet Show until an hour ago. I saw a video clip on another blog that I frequent on Tuesdays… MJ’s Big Blog. Now, she’s a fan of my boy and that’s why I like her. I’ve also noticed that she doesn’t get the angry letters you do from people. I hope that doesn’t make you feel bad.

    Oh Froggie, I hope you know that coming to the pond is just a way I can escape from all the responsibilities that rest upon my weary shoulders. And for that alone, you should dedicate an article to Jason. If it weren’t for my intense desire to find out the songs he would sing for ND week, I would never have found the pond nor read for myself the scum you put forth.

  14. ScandinavianBlonde

    For wars we will have to get back to my grandparents youth Pondie, and well, we ended up free from the Russians.

    So the finale will be between the alternative and the altarnative. I alter and falter with the options.

  15. thespine11

    Oh, don’t falter, Scandie.

    It is the same kind of choice as with the Russkies.

    The oppression of our forefathers or a little freedom in a bar.

    It is not a difficult choice.

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