And so we reach the end of a very pleasant skip through the long, fragrant grass of dancing.
However, last night, a couple of the poor souls looked like they were being asked to dance through the long grass wearing diving suits, masks and flippers.
I wonder whether that will have earned them more votes of sympathy than others will get votes for, um, dancing.
Hell’s Teeth, his humor tragically reminding me of Saturday afternoon British television of the 1970s, should be applauded for his absolute honesty in panning The Courtney and Joshua Slow-Mo’ Jive.
I have not seen tanks as empty as that since the Russians beat a retreat from Afghanistan. They looked like they had been asked to sleepwalk in quicksand.
One can, for once, believe reports that two of the dancers had been hospitalized to have some water shoved back into them. Courtney, who looked paler than an Albino in shock, was lucky to get through that final performance without collapsing in a weeping heap.
The only other truly sub-standard performance of the night was Twitch’s foxtrot, which bore all the resemblance of dancing by numbers.
Yet the only numbers he seemed to have been given were one and two.
On the other hand, the Dance Of The Two Black Russians was a stunning highlight. Joshua’s athleticism and Twitch’s ability to make you believe that, in his day job, he is a Mafia Bodyguard, made the whole thing a truly uplifting Ural Plural.
I haven’t mentioned Katee only because the producers did a splendid thing by showing again the moment when she was almost voted off before the Top 20 were chosen.
So thin is the line between confidence and surrender that it has been easy to forget just what state she was in before the Final 20 took the stage.
If talent is the sole criterion by which America’s Ephemeral Voting Kingdom decides on the winner, there surely cannot be any doubt that Katee didn’t merely steal last night’s show. She bought it with some spare change she found lying around in her pocket.
Grace, athleticism, character performance, they were all there. And her real talent is to combine precision with inspiration.
No mean feet, as they say in dancing. (Well, they will now.)
So all y’all voted for Twitch, right?
Ah, well. I still have my memories and you can’t take them away from me.
The Pond thanks South Tyrolean for letting is know exactly where we are.